MY LIFE!!!

2009-06-28T03:36:00.000-07:00

Supsup Readers!!!!

Wow...time really flies..In an blink of an eye..4 weeks has past..holidays are over..Sad but life goes on..hahas...I kinda miss school...I miss my class...as in class not classmates...woot getting an air-con room this half of the year...so happy...don't need complain hot anymore ler..now must complain cold..LOL...so no link in what am I tying lah..hahas..I'm just sian lah..hahas..

Holidays has been really great and sad for me...Happy because I really experience GOD every single day of the holidays..Sad because for the last 2 weeks I didnt like really go to church..have been falling sick and today overslept..oh dear...GOD save me give me engery...

What happen during the camp? Oh you guys wanna know? Its truly awesome..someone who I really didnt expect came to the camp..and that person is none other than Jing Yi..woot I miss her alot...as friends...*do not think too much* She's just a super ultra close friend.. In camp I reallly did experience God during the entire camp I was reminded that he is there for me and really showered his love on me...When I was leading worship, I really like ok I must lead the campers into worship mood..The songs I did was All that I am ,Making a difference, Give us clean hands and pure hearts, Lord I give you my heart. Awesome songs...and I reallly feel that GOD was right in front of me...looking at the way I was leading his people into worship..God thank you so much for letting me lead in worship...After worship, had dinner...then we travel to Pentecost church.. And renewed my covenant with the Lord...and we got a crush ball which is suppose to be the things that I have to let go in order to get closer to GOD..The only thing that is holding me back from the Lord is my emotions...Everyone has it..Just that mine was super ultra over whelming...God may I really put this down...and may i never give in into my emotions...

Alright got to go...cya!!!! May the frist day of school be pleasing in your sight God..=)

2009-06-17T02:39:00.000-07:00

Hey all..

Wow today I feel so...so offf...no mood to do anything...but I manage to focus on God when we were leading worship..then after that..I'm so off..no mood to do anything at all...played games...the feeling of being left out is there...the jealousy of people is also that...

I just realise that I dun really have any peers there at all...I have peers outside from other places..But we don't usually meet...haiz...I hate myself so much...I hate my weakness and everything..I just hate it!!! Even my talents everything...I always promise myself I will live my life to the fullest..But what's going on in my life? Shits..overwhelming emotions..Life is so selfish I always care for others and what does people do? Take advantage of me and everything..Use me for their own needs and I just put a smile on my face all the time to cover up all my hurts..Kinda tough to do all that really...I just pretend that nothing happen and just get hurt from the inside.. Having a heart to forgive them is there..But what about myself? people just blame me for the small little things that I have done and remembers it and use it against me...I'm all alone in this dark and super scary place with no one there to light it up for me..Even if there's light, its dim can't even last for 2 days? I don't know...No one wants to be my friend..No one is willing to listen to all problems...No one..I really cannot stand it...So what if people forgives me..So what if there is someone is willing to listen to me..I'm sure they will use that information against me..

Whenever I'm out of my comfort zone, there will be someone that will push me in..I really cannot take it anymore...I really want to end my life...Giving up all my dreams, my hopes and everything I have...I really cannot take it anymore...there's a phrase that says be careful what you wish for, or you might just get it..Well here I am wishing for this..God please take me away I don't want anymore of this...its really too much...My heart...is being Perice through by an arrow or worst by a sword...I really had enough already..please...no more...I cannot take it anymore...

ok i have to go already...I will update my blog again sooon...cya

2009-05-21T01:11:00.000-07:00

Supsup Readers!!!!

Hey all!!! Wow today...practical exam!!!! So scary...Heart pumping at like 10 times per 1 second...Hahas...Lol I think I anyhow say de...Crap me...Hahas...Just receive my exams paper yesterday..!!! What the heck lo...Fail 1 subject...And they are none other than MATHS!!!...zZz of all paper I must fail math...damm sad...when I got the paper...paper 2 I scored like 24/50 not that bad and I tell myself cannot cry...and than when I receive paper 1, which is 22/50 the tears just dropped...and I was like what the hack am I crying for...just 1 paper only what..thinking of it really make me very sad...But not to worry...I scored very well for all of my the other subject...so cool...cause I know I did my best...but for math...is cause that when I was doing it my science formula came and I was like stuck all the way...But I was quite happy when I got my science paper...woot!!! TOP AGAIN...but no improvement from last year...cause I scored 50/75 and last year was 50.5/75...screw the 0.5...hahas...lol...nvm I shall work harder for my EOY...here I come as I am studying hard and smart for it...I will make sure I top for every single subject...here I come...woot!!! JIAYOZZ JED YOU CAN DO IT>>.<<>

alright got to go....tata!!!

2009-05-17T20:07:00.000-07:00

Supsup Readers..

Wow actually blog twice in a day...not feeling so well now...why??? Why is there always people out there who wants to cheat your feelings...No matter how much I tried to give that person a chance there is always that line that i will never for get how much hurt that I have suffered in the past...Looks like history is going to repeat itself again...Why why why!!! am I the only one who recieves this kind oof things...I had enough!!!!

2009-05-17T09:40:00.000-07:00

Supsup Readers

Hello guys...its been a while since I last wrote anything..Reason being...nothing to post...exams...and a lot other things..well I am not complaining but at times i really feel jealous.. And because of that I want to make myself like that person..hopefully can do better than him/her..But I just can't a lot of people can say that I am kind nice naive jolly and have no problems at all...well I can tell you all this...Have you all ever wondered what is it like to be alone even when you have friends around you..That feeling...I always feel..Do you have any idea what's that feeling...I do..For the past 3 years..even when I am with my friends from OYC, even just a simple lunch I can be left out..most likely they forget about me..then I will just be like staring at my phone hoping that someone can sms me..but that wont happen anymore..I remembered one of my friends saying,' Even your best friends might fail you". Trust me..honestly it does..I had that experience...and the temtation of not going OYC is always there you know..and I just wanna just give up on all of them..I will only be notice when they need me...

What do I mean?? For example...worship...not that I am saying that it is really a bad thing to play for worship but when you have burdens and you are playing its not really good though..I have been praying about it..hopefully GOD will be able to do something about it..secondly will be going out...They will only call me when there really isnt any other people anymore..like I'm in the last slot and always keep asking me at a wrong time...then when it is finally settle, someone will suddenly just tell me its cancel...and reason saying oh I have no mood going to movie already...what kind of weird excuess is that right...Haiz never mind...I have nobody to count on..

In my life there are only a few people that I really trust and have faith that he or she will be able to make a difference in my life...and these people are...GOD, Jonas, Russell, Tim Liang, Kenneth Lim, Ben Sim and Joel Tieh..They are all from ACSI..Even though I dont get to talk to them much..but..they are the people who is willing to spare sometime for me..listening to all my problems and feelings..expically Jonas...I remembered last year during the decipleship camp, I was ssms-ing him throughout the whole camp...Get what I mean now by even you have friends beside you, you will still feel lonely? This is what I mean...I'm quite blessed to meet him...He was one of the few primers who is willing to listen to me...Thank GOD for him..if not...today there wont be a me anymore...

Hahas...so happy...EXAM ARE FINALLY OVER AT LAST...4 days to rest...THAT's GREAT..and wednesday and thursday is our school's house games..and Friday...ooh...the day that I thought that will never come...WHICH is my EOY practical exam...OMG!!! SO SCARY so to those who had read my blog do pray for me thanks!!!! Hahas...got to go now...hope that i will be able to post again real soon!!!! Niteynitez...

2009-04-24T07:35:00.000-07:00

Supsup Readers!!!

The saddest day of my life

People always says Sweet 16...But today is the day that I turn 16...Its not sweet...its terrible...I hate today...

This first and the last sms I get is from kelly...why..? Today is the way when I break my friendship with every single one of them..They blame me that I got them into detention...why can't they ask themselve how do they get into this kind of mass..I guess what they know the best..Blame others but not themselve...want me to feel bad...NO WAY...you all are in the fault..blame me for wat...All you people know is to take advantage of me...I know it ok..you will only call me when you need me the most...if not...just throw me at 1 side..untill I am of use again...What kind of friends do I have...I just you readers will know after you read all this...

In OYC...I didn't really do anything much maybe just play bridge...and listening to my music...texting the people who are once my friends...and of course texting jonathan and rou juan...What kind of birthday wish I have? Insults blames and a lot more...

I'm thankfully for this few people...Jonathan, Rou Juan and Russell...Jonathan was like texting me and keep asking me whether I was ok and stuff...Rou Juan...same as Jonathan...Russell...He was talking to me throughout the whole night...Thanks...

Anyway only 1 hour more till my birthday ends..and I am going to sleep..Niteynitez...

2009-04-20T05:50:00.000-07:00

Supsup readers!!!

Wow its been quite a while since I last blog..This few days has been really tired..Maybe lazy to blog is also one reason..But I just feel that I should blog today..Because I have like so much work and busy with worship practice...I am not complaining but sometimes I really feel the pressure from my peers..my expectations and others has been there...and now..finding friends meeting new friends is a total different things...I met a new friend in maple again...and he happens to be a christian...so cool..I keep asking myself why I always meet friends who are christian...and when I listen to their life changing experience it really warms up my heart because I get to know other christians and listen to their stories..

Well enough of that...My BIRTHDAY is coming...SUPER COOL!!! Well I shall list down the things I want and hopefully I will get it though..

Well I want a new pencil box, a new phone, new t-shirts..and make more friends who I can really be friends with them..Hahas...LOL at times I don't really like my birthday at times...because I will know whether they remember my birthday...and I will either get hurt or happy...anyways...got to go..need rest...Hahas...

SEE YA!!! TATA>>>.<<<

2009-04-10T22:14:00.000-07:00

Supsup Readers!!!

Hello once again...Its been so long since I last post anything...hahas...because I was too busy...Sec 4...zzz...stupid number...hahas...plus SO OLD!!!! Hahas...well I just recieve my second CA report...fail 1 subject...which is like so stupid...and what did I fail...That happens to be FnN...after all the hard work I have put in...this was what I get...crap lah...

Well life in OYC haven't been great...still got a feeling that someone will be there to break me down emotionally and mentally...How I wish I can really get over the things that have been happen...Alot of people tell me that...I'm not really a good christian...because of my pride and stuff...me pride..thats weird...I always give into you all...what makes you think its pride?? Well I don't really know...after all I'm just a person who everyone hates thats all...

Well to tell you guys...I don't really have any good friends that I can look up too...even though there are a few people there...but maybe I just not comfortable with them...The only few people that I have as and really regarded them as someone who makes a lot of difference in my life..that will be God, Jonas, Russell, Mark and last but not least Rou Juan..well...as you all can see from here I only trust this few people...and only they know my hurts and sorrows...I always thought that I am alone...But when Jonas, Russell and Mark came in to my life..They were the one who as really been there to listen to me when I am down...sharing my joys with them and stuff...As for Rou Juan the only girl whom I really trust in OYC and who has really been there when I really needed help...she was one of the few people who really stood by me and cared for me when I am down...may it be words or through words...She will try her best to cheer me up and make and smile on my face!!! Thanks so much ROU JUAN!!!

To tell you all the truth...I'm really jealous of the BB people...why?? Because of their unity and relying on one an another, love and passion for GOD..Well to me they are like people whom I can really see GOD in their lifes...and I'm thankful to this one person who really sacrifice his time to talk to me and he is none other than Jonas...He is someone that I really look up to as a friend and a rolemodel..thanks so much Jonas!!!

Wah...my birthday coming...don't think anyone will remember...will it be like last year?? Huh? What happen last year? Well nobody or to tell you the truth..no one wants to wish me happy birthday at all...not a single one..I remembered my first birthday wish is from Zhong Hong..after that Candy then Luke...and right after that...I have not recieve any happy birthday wishes from anyone..at that time my feelings and my heart was like having torns all over and it hurts like crazy...but what I didn't know is on Saturday..2 days after my birthday..when some of the BB people saw me...they dircetly wish me happy birthday...I was like so shocked...but at that time I was quite happy because..I still have friends that really remembered my birthday..and that is when I first met Jonas...His first sms to me was HAPPY BIRTHDAY...and I was so happy...

Well hahas...got to go already running late for worship practice...!!! hahas BB

2009-03-29T04:52:00.000-07:00

Supsup Readers!!

Hello readers!!!Din't really do much today..Actually today suppose to go church wan but I ended up not going because I was having a very bad headach...Hahas oh ya..1 thing about me I'm a kind of person who get sick very easily which is like so what loh..Hahas...Lol I was like doing nothing for the whole day expect for slacking and loafting around resting eating and doing a bit of work..lol..Then in the afternoon Terence came to my house...Oh was playing playstation 2 hahas...Then I was playing computer...and thinking of the topic that I am going to share this tuesday for bible study..on Matthew 3,4 and 5...which is like so much but I manage to think through carefully..Then after a while Wei Xiang came...was still playing playstation while he was playing my computer...then suddenly yoke ming msg him..then after that ask us whether wan watch movie...lol mood swing hahas...lol...so tired now tml still got school better go rest now..kk tata...

2009-03-28T05:26:00.000-07:00

Supsup Readers!!!

Wow today!!! Super ultra fun day for me...Ok let me slowly tell you what did I do today!!!

First thing first I woke up in the morning around 9.10..

Next went to see where did my mum go!!!

Thirdly I went to wash up!!!

Forthly I went to do my quiet time!!

Fiffth I went to switch on my computer!!

Sixly I went to play computer games all the way till 11.45!!

Seven I went to eat lunch!!!

This was the things that i normally will do on a saturday morning..Hahas in after lunch I went to OYC for tuition..I reach there around 1.10...so early...!!! Hahas...then I was playing cards..when I suddenly got a call from my tutor whose also there already and he didnt see me..XD..must be blind!!! Hahas...Lol..he very funny lah he!!! here is a picture of him!!! He look funny isn't it!!! Hahas!!! Well he is lah!!! but like the whole of tution we were doing maths!!! And I was like half awake and sleep..Too tired!!! Then when Tim liang and Zhuo'er..I realise that I forgotten to bring Tim's present and I was like OMG!!! How can I forget such a important thing like his present!!! ARH!!! Then I ran home and get it..Lucky that I live close to OYC if not I cant go and get the present at all!!! But I dashed back fast!!! Ok when I came back I went to play table soccer with Sheryl!! Like I totally got owned by her!!!Hahas..anyways after playing for a while i went to Tim liang and gave him his present!!! Hope he like it..!!! Then I went around taking my phone to take pictures!!! hahas last day to see the primers cannot miss that chance!!! Then after worship we went into a time of prayer..I was holding my tears when I was saying the prayer because I really can't bare to part with them...especially JONAS, MARK, TIM and ZHUO'ER...sobs but thankfully I didnt realease my tears if not it would be like very sad!!! Ok after the talk, the last 1 hour..I was talking with the primers and taking pictures with them..Hahas super funny lah...!! When Jonas said he had to leave, the first thing that came to mind was!!! WAIT DON'T GO YOU STILL HAVENT TSKE A PICTURE WITH ME YET..and he was like ya faster got to go liao..hahas...then Jonas, Kin ming and I took one picture..and guess what KIM dunno how to use my phone super funny...hahas...Then after Jonas left I was super sad..but for the sake of his exams I have to let him go hahas...right!!! hahas..well after he left..we took a group picture with KIM's camera..and that is like one of the most coolest pictures!!! THEN AFTER THAT EVBERYONE LEFT AND I WENT TO WESTMALL WITH WEI XIANG TO SEE SOMETHINGS...THEN WENT HOME..WELL THAT'S ALL FOR TODAY FOLKS TATA!!!

2009-03-27T05:53:00.000-07:00

SUPSUP READERS!!!!

Last day of term 2 week 1..I find it like super fast week!!! I realise that life is like super ultra fast!!! I got like a thousand and one things to think about.. For example like where would I be going to after Secondary well that's one of them..Second will be my spiritual life with GOD..Well a lot of people in my life who isn't a christian will normally ask me this," What is there to worry you have GOD with you and you will lead a peaceful and a ultra happy life.".Well to me I would love to say the say thing as what they have mention..But I myself is sure of 1 thing!!! If there are no suffering in my life who can I experience GOD in a newer way?

Well...How I wish saturday which is tmr will not come!!! Because tmr will be the last time that all the year 6s primers will come!!! OMG...I'm like super sad!!! Well ya sooner or later they will have to leave so I have to really carry myself through!!! I got like so much close friends among the year for example...JONAS the bestest friend that I have ever have..He is like the second person who i can talk too besides GOD..The second person will be RUSSELL he is like been there to listen to all my problems..giving me advice and answers that I will never expect!!! super cool hahas..Thirdly will be TIM LIANG..He arh!!! He likes to act cool in front of me..because he always tell me answers that I will never expect..!!! Like I once ask him what is friendship to him?? He will like tell me some super weird answer that I will not know!! Hahas super ultra funny lah!!! But I enjoy talking to him because he always share with me some of his experience!!! OK 4th one will be MARK...wow he another super funny wan..Well I only get to know him last year...not so close to him!! But when I ask and tell him my problems, he will always be there to listen and give me advice like what all my friends do..But his is special because his answer will always be different from the others...

Ok enough of the year 6 primers.. Now one of my NON-CHRISTIAN..and he is none other than RAIYAN..must be surprise when I say this but he is one of my best friends too..He is like always msging me..and I just love to talk to him and listen to his problems..and try to help him as much as I can..!!! Hahas...But I just love him like my own younger brother..

Well enough of blogging today!!! So late already..10+++ already..okie got to go and sleep now!!! niteynitez...zzz off to my dream land now...

2009-03-25T23:07:00.000-07:00

ME AND TIM LIANG...!!! SUPER COOL PIC...BUT SOMEONE SAY THE PEOPLE IN THE PICTURE VERY SEXY...XD...

ME AND MARK!!! HE IS ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS!!! WELL YOU HAVENT SEEN MY BEST OF THE BEST FRIEND YET!! MAYBE WILL POST IT ON SATURDAY NIGHT OR SOMETHING I HOPE..XD

2009-03-25T05:46:00.000-07:00

Supsup readers!!!

Hey readers!!! Well its like super ultra long since i last blogged!!! Reason being too busy!! Like I have like so much things to do like completely insane!!! Haha but I shouldn't have a problem cuz God's with me like super ultra close...A lot of people told me that I should just give up on christ.. But I actually think that I must really pray hard that I must presever on for christ because.. In the bible, God told me that I should always depend on God all the time submitting all my problems and my happiness to him..and I really did and that's something good to hear from my spiritual life...and now come and think of my normal life...I can say that I'm handling well with my homework and things..One thing i'm not good in handling will be my relationship...like BGR...I'm like always the middle person who always stuck with this kind of thing!!! I hate it...Now I am the person who is always call the "the maker of triangle love" wow super what right!!! what do you wan me to do leh??? I can only say this..dun rely too much on me..I might really fail you at times..hahas tso just forget me and continue living...

Well ya enough of that!!! ok now about today!!! Guess what today is TIM LIANG'S birthday!! Wish her happy birthday ler...but he never even reply me...sobsob...well i made a hand make card...I don't even know whether he will like it at all..but as a friend to him...I'm going to give him a handmake card for him but I really hope he will like it!!! Well after school I went to OYC..super cool lah...made super lots of good friends...people like SHIMIN, SHILEI, JONATHAN and super lot of others..My newest friend...and I'm sure he will be my best friend..his name is JONATHAN. hearing from all his friends, he is a very good sports player...and he played with me pool..wah he is super good...we played like 6 to 7 rounds...1 round win then let the loser for another round taking turns to win..hahas super fun...after pool I went to play bridge...I keep getting lousy cards OMG Lah..but still got win so not so bad lah...hahas...

WOW LOOK AT THE TIME SUPER LATE!!!! MUST REST BEFORE I BECOME SICK AGAIN!!! WILL BE PRAYING FOR EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY FRIENDS... NEW MAKE OR OLD FRIENDS... THEY ARE STILL MAK GOOD FRIENDS!!!! GOT TO GO NITEYNITEZ....

2009-03-25T05:23:00.001-07:00

Supsup Readers…
Today was such a great day for me…school was like totally rox…because it was a short but there was a lot of lessons…But they were all like like 1 1/2 hour long…so cool lahz…either english maths or science…I still enjoy it…Well today english lesson was cool because Miss Tan ask us what is our PASSION…Then I think for a while about what is My PASSION…Well I come up with this…
My PASSION IS PLAYING FOR GOD…and I can tell you what each letter means to me…
P for PEERS
L for LOVE
A for ASSIMILATE
Y for YES FOR GOD’S GLORY
I for INITIATIVE
N for NEVER SAY DIE
G for GOD
F for FRIENDS
O for OBEDIENCE
R for READY FOR CHRIST
G for GLORY
O for OFFSPRING
D for DIVINE MIRACLES THAT GOD HAS
Well basically this is my passion…so what is your passion??? To me this my passion…hahas…
Well I have cell today…and I was like sharing my feelings out about the issue…haiz…BUT I’m feeling a lot better liao…so I’m alot better…and i hope that they wont fdo it again…hahas
okok got to go now…cya!!

2009-03-25T05:00:00.000-07:00

Well its been a while since i last blog…cause there must be something that I reallly have did wrongly..is it me not giving them my attention or am I just being to surious with them…Well I really don’t know though..Well I just hope I can get over it like right now!!! Hahas..! So ya..
Well hahas I have a lot of friends in my life..Here is my top 20 in the list that really cares deeply for me as a brother in christ and I really thank them for that..So ya..Hahas..Here’s the top 20..
1. Jonas
2. Mark Lee (not the actor..but my friend)
3. Joel Tieh
4. Alistair
6. Justin
7. Raiyan
8. Ben Sim
9. Yeong Wei
10. Zhong Hong
11. Tim Liang
12. Tim Lim
13. Kenneth Lim
14. James
15. Hong Wei
16. Rou Juan
17. Jonathan
18. Wei Xiang
19. Zac
20. Kim
Hahas.. They are really my good friends who really listen to me and give me advice on things of my problems.. But I’m really thankful for them..
Hahas well for the few people that I have mantion..You must really think why you are really in it..hahas..its my secret…never going to tell you all =).hahas

Alright..I’m going to go and do my homework now..BYEBYE =)